mind over matters

Self Confidence

Everyone struggles with confidence on occasions, even people who present as if they were born with loads of it. What about you? Is a lack of confidence holding you back from doing the things you want to do? Perhaps you have a challenging situation coming up; a job interview, a presentation, or a social event. Maybe, you lack confidence when dealing with friends, family, classmates, colleagues, or employees. Maybe, you find it difficult to face every day challenges. This course will be suitable for you if you struggle with self-confidence in any aspect of your life.

Sound Familiar?

• I’m aware that I don’t come across confidently.

• I question my own ability and that prevents me from doing things.

• I find it hard speaking in a group.

• I get nervous when I have to do anything new.

• I panic when someone asks me a challenging question and my mind goes blank.

• I worry about what other people think of me.

• It pains me to be the center of attention.

• I can’t say ‘No’ to people and I feel like I’m being taken advantage of.

• I say “yes” so people will like me.

• I say and do things to prove myself worthy, good, or liked

• I avoid people and situations that make me feel uncomfortable.

• I second-guess myself often.

• I prefer someone else to make decisions.

• I think I have to be perfect at everything I do or I won’t try at all

• I feel stuck, I’m struggling to move forward in my life.

Imposter Syndrome

Think of your greatest achievements. Do you feel proud of what you've accomplished? Or do you feel like a fraud? Does each raise, promotion or accolade bring joy? Or is it accompanied by the dread that, one day, your cover will be blown, and everyone will find out that you just got lucky?

If you experience feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, you may be surprised to learn that you are in great company. Impostor Syndrome is typically associated with high achievers. Impostor Syndrome is the overwhelming feeling that you don't deserve your success. It convinces you that you're not as intelligent, creative or talented as you may seem. It is the suspicion that your achievements are down to luck, good timing or just being in the “right place at the right time.” And it is accompanied by the fear that, one day, you'll be exposed as a fraud.

Impostor Syndrome can be linked to other feelings of self-doubt, such as fear of success, fear of failure, or self-sabotage. But it's not simply another symptom of low self-confidence, or excessive humility. It involves a constant fear of exposure, isolation and rejection.

Impostor Syndrome often strikes at moments of success: starting a new job, receiving an award or promotion, or taking on extra responsibility such as teaching others, starting your own business, or becoming a first-time parent.

Sound Familiar?

• I often doubt myself.

• I experience an inability to realistically assess my competence and skills

• I attribute my success to external factors.

• I fear that I won't live up to expectations.

• I set very challenging goals and feel disappointed when I fall short

• I sabotage my own success.

• I berate my performance.

Boundary Work

One of the most challenging, emotional, and stressful tasks within relationships is setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries.  However, most people don’t realize this until their boundaries have been crossed and a friendship, romantic relationship, professional relationship, or family relationship is on the line. Boundaries are a natural part of each of us and everyone has their own internal gauge for when they have been crossed.  When someone crosses our boundaries, it can create strong feelings of anger, hurt, frustration, sadness, anxiety, or fear. Therefore, it is necessary to understand what boundaries are and how they help keep us safe. This course will address what boundaries are, why they are important, how to identify you boundaries, how to set appropriate boundaries, and how to maintain them after it gets crossed.

Sound Familiar?

• I often regret sharing too much personal information.

• I feel guilty often.

• I believe I am taken advantage of a lot.

• I behave passive aggressively.

• I find it difficult to say “no.”

• I have a hard time making decisions.

• My relationships tend to be difficult or dramatic.

Procrastination

Procrastination refers to postponing to act or make a decision that you are supposed to make. How many times have you put off a decision or task? Maybe you are putting off writing that pending report…delaying organizing your kitchen…waiting to have a difficult conversation with a family member….and so on.

When looked at closely, procrastination boils down to being illogical, because you know the right thing that you need to do at a certain moment but you still go ahead and opt to not do it. It seems not to make sense, but on closer scrutiny, a common thread emerges to link the different manifestations of procrastination. That common denominator is that the things you postpone are linked to undesirable emotions. If the problem is looked at in that way, procrastination becomes clearer to understand since it is possible to identify and deal with the negative emotions that cause us to avoid doing the things that we ought to do.

Do you procrastinate on…

• Leaving for school or work on time

• Doing your homework now so you can relax later

• Working on a project or paper now so you are less stressed later

• Getting started on important tasks rather than browsing social media at work or school

• Wanting to start a new positive habit, such as dieting, exercising, or saving money, but repeatedly delaying it while telling yourself that you’ll start sometime in the near future.

• Wanting to create a project or start a business, but wasting time looking up inspirational material and unimportant information instead of actually setting something up.

• Answering emails

• Going to the doctor

• Updating your resume

• Applying for a job

• Communicating with family, friends, romantic interest

• Cleaning or organizing